I am a fraud
For Christmas I got my sister a fun cookbook written by some teenage chef. For my brother's graduation I picked out a basic but beautiful how-to-cook book put out by the food network. As though I was some kind of responsible adult, passing my hard-learned knowledge down to my younger siblings.
I did this because the bookstore was all out of Living With Italian Roomates: Never Go Hungry Again!
I've been good this week, because when Ben left I promised him I wouldn't put off getting food and then end up eating crappy shit. I also talked to my old roommate Janna on the phone, and she encouraged me to go grocery shopping. So I did. To Stanley's for produce and Trader Joe's for other stuff. (On a side note, I have always thought the Stanley's logo of the dude in the watermelon airplane would be a fabulous Halloween costume. Or tattoo.) It doesn't matter that I went to stores I like, or that I bought myself treats like flowers and interesting beer and cherries, or that I went when it wasn't busy. I don't like grocery shopping. I might hate grocery shopping. Hate it. If you are familiar with my decision-making handicap you might understand why. Too many choices! Overwhelming! What do I want? What new stuff should I try? What old standbys should I stand by? What is the best deal? What is the best brand? Here is an excerpt from my brain at Stanley's yesterday-- This is 100% true, only make it take longer to accomodate walking in circles around the store.
Should I pay 20 extra cents and get organic lettuce? It's already washed.... Wait no it isn't. (Puts back organic lettuce.) Okay I'll go back and get the regular lettuce. Oh, there's the cilantro next to the lettuce-- I was going to get cilantro and maybe make that one salad. But maybe we have some. Do we? I think Ben used it. Is it still good? Probably not. (Gets cilantro.) Wait but then I have to get corn if I'm going to make that salad. Okay. 3 ears? 4? They're 5 for a dollar, that's really cheap. But I don't want to waste food. (Gets 4 ears of corn.) And beans-- oh they don't have the right kind of beans! Hmmm. Should I get another kind? (Inspects every can of beans with a magnifying glass.) I'll wait and get them at another store. Okay. Oh they have this organic corn that is already shucked! Only a little more expensive... but there are 5 ears in here. Is that too many? I guess it's worth it. (Gets package of organic corn. Puts other ears back.) Ok... The avocados aren't ripe. And expensive. Shit. Okay scratch that. (Put back organic corn and cilantro.)
I AM SO FUCKING BAD AT GROCERY SHOPPING.
And then when I got home, I had to put away the groceries. Which I most definitely hate! Ugh! Stupid groceries! Stupid dropping them off and then having to park the car and then come back and PUT THEM AWAY! So lame!
I do like having food around though. The thing is, I don't like making food when I'm hungry for dinner, or when I'm in a hurry, which incidentally includes any time I'm hungry for dinner. Baking is different. It's just for fun, and kind of medatative, and crafty. I have a hard time applying my fondness for baking to regular cooking. Maybe I should use more recipes... Yeah, that might do it. Except it feels lamer to use a recipe to cook dinner than to produce a magically delicious dessert.
So I'm not much of a food-fixer. I realized this before I went to the store, when I was looking for food and just cut up a tomato and ate it with salt and a basil leaf. I tried to buy things I could easily eat, with minimal preparation. Right now I'm snacking on snap peas. But I also bought sandwich stuff, because I like to have a sandwich for lunch. This morning and yesterday I made myself a sandwich in the morning. I HATE MAKING A SANDWICH IN THE MORNING. They were good sandwiches, but I do not like having to deal with making food while I'm trying to get ready to go.
I did pretty good last night; I ended up using some leftover gyro meat on top of a salad of romaine, feta, red onions, cucumber and tomato. It was yummy, though this morning I was attacked mid-WWclass by a stomach churn and watery mouth. I had visions of dashing out of class, hand over my mouth, seeking a trash can or toilet somewhere... Didn't end up puking but didn't feel so great. Hey, that gyro meat was only from Saturday night, and it was only Wednesday, and the fridge had only been without power for 7 hours, and hadn't been opened... Okay maybe it was a bad idea. Whatever, I'm fine, no harm, no foul.
Tonight I have stuff to make a pizza, which I'm looking forward to. And I'm good at making all kinds of eggs and breakfasty things. I like to make guacamole and hummus and salads for parties and potlucks. I'm really good at having ideas of things to eat, or ways to create something with random food we have, which Ben really appreciates.
But dudes: Ben does all this stuff for me. He does the things I hate (grocery shopping, making sandwiches in the morning, cooking dinners) so that I can do the things I love (eating). And he claims to enjoy doing these things! We used to try to do them together, which usually ended in bickering and moodiness. Until we figured out that if we framed things differently, so that instead of grocery shopping together or cooking together I am simply Ben's helper, we have a lot more fun. Now I just push the cart and have craving inspirations. And when he doesn't want to cook, we go get tacos! It is super awesome!
I am lucky, lucky, lucky. Living alone is an interesting and very fun experiment, but I'm learning things about myself. Like the fact that if I ever ended up doing this for real I might have to borrow some cookbooks from my brother and sister.
posted by Lindsay @ Friday, June 22, 2007
6 Comments:
Lindsay!
This post made me laugh so much. I understand. I am almost reconciled to spending less money on groceries and just eating in the hospital cafeteria on weekdays...I have a special bond with the Subway guy on evening shift over my 6inch veggie on wheat, because I, too, hate making sandwiches when I'm trying to get ready to go.
hearts and kisses,
Meara
We are so alike it's scary. I haven't been in a grocery store since. . . I truly do not remember. Ron does all the shopping and he ONLY buys what we put on the list. Having never been in the store, we never have anything new because we only put what we're out of on the list.
Some time ago, (think years) we were in a grocery store together and I got so mad at Ron. Apparently there are lots of new things since Carolyn was born! And some of them are already. . . READY!
SO I resolved to do some of the shopping. That was years ago. No luck.
I'm VERY good at the eating and criticizing part though..
In my defense, while ALWAYS going through the head games you describe, when we were first married I had a husband who said no to anything precooked, prearranged, nonorganic etc. So I painstakingly learned about 12 excellent recipes which everyone loved. . . BOTH KIDS TOO, and then they became vegetarians and I gave up. Gave up forever.
By the way, I have actually found myself walking/running in a cartoon-like circle in my own kitchen trying to decide something. Your mom and I have talked about this often. The good news is that whenever we HAVE to, we always come through and do things WELL. But it always has to be with a severe time limit. . . (tonight, tomorrow morning etc.).
This can't be coincidence. I personally think that we Simons ALL have a mild form of A.D.D. What do you think?
On that happy note, please take solace and comfort from the fact that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Except for Chrissie (who worked in a grocery store) I have observed each of the Simons in this mode. We do well together, bouncing ideas - and eventually come up with something pretty good. (think Door Co.) but we all have these tendencies. Frankly I think it's because we have too many other things to think about. . . World Peace, Religion, Politics, Soap operas, computer blogs, etc. Who has time to plan/shop/cook?
Maybe it's the latent wealthy genes from Grandpa Simon. . . we were born to have cooks.
Or maybe I need a wife.
Love ya lots,
Deboe
we trusted you and this is how you repay us? Way to go lindsay.
your ex-brother
Jesse
that receipe sounds familiar... is it the famous corn/avacado/white bean/red onion/cilantro cold summer salad made famous by my mother? or am i taking credit where credit is not due? perhaps you gave her the receipe? does it matter? anyway, i'm just remembering how yummy it is, and giving myself props for having extra context for your grocery store dilemmas... love you x
Yes. In my house we call it "Isabel's Mom's Salad."
ooh, could you email me Isabel's Mom's Salad? It sounds fabulous.
I loved your description of your hatred of grocery shopping. It was one of those click-into-another-person's-head moments for me, like when my friend Larissa explained to me why it is that some people are absolutely incapable of closing the cap on the shampoo bottle, because the cap just never even enters their mind. It was a revelation, because I cannot stand to have the cap open. The cap enters my mind and stays there. It had never occurred to me that someone might truly not notice it. Similarly, I love grocery shopping, and I never quite understood your prior references to hating grocery shopping, until this post. Now I get it. I will think of you this evening when I do my food shopping.
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