keeping it together

Those piano classes didn't run. Which means I quit my job at the desk for no reason, and I'm losing a good third to half of my income.

Okay.

It is lame, and I keep cycling between feeling angry/devastated/hopeless/courageous and in denial. I often feel like I got tricked into quitting my job and upsetting a lifestyle that had worked well and made me happy for some time. But I know that quitting and making that decision to change was a risk, and nobody promised it would go well. Although I certainly was given the sense that I could count on at least some of those classes to run. Change, change, change. Julia went to Stevens Point. Summer is over. Friends move away. College, law school, grad school, Old Town Schoo1... I need to improve my ability to change. Or moreso, my ability to approach change.

Thank god Adeline is still cute.

The long weekend was good. Friday night I saw Mar Car!be at the Hideout and then got dinner at Thai Lagoon with Ben and Emma before going for ice cream at Taste of Heaven and to see Too Much Light. I love the Neo Futurists, a lot, and have often imagined another life path where I ended up one of them. At the show they made an announcement that they're doing a workshop which I am considering signing up for. The guy said they work on teaching you how to make theater about your life, and Ben made some crack about how he couldn't imagine me wanting to talk creatively about my feelings, which earned him a punch on the shoulder.

Saturday we got breakfast at Vella, shopped at H&M and walked down by the lake. I did a bday party and then Emma and Ben made a yummy dinner which we ate in the backyard. Emma headed back to Mwakee and Ben and I enjoyed a beautiful night biking down to the South Loop to see Mucca Pazza. There's another potential life I can imagine having; being part of Mucca Pazza. I LOVE MUCCA PAZZA. I am a Mucca Pazza ambassador. Watch out, because if I know you, I will probably try to force you to see Mucca Pazza, and then you will LOVE IT. People at Wabash Fest or wherever we were were not the kind of usual audience they have, and they were astounded and confused but ultimately thrilled with the band. They put on such a great show. In the morning I was sore from dancing. Ben and I had a less-fun bike ride back to our hood, which involved a lot of cabs, tourists who had never seen bikes in the street before, drunk drivers and assholes. We felt better once we got to the Handlebar, amongst our people, and even better once we helped the staff (both working and just hanging out there) complete a giant Tecate can beeramid, and probably the best when we were crawling around on the bar and dancing on top of the bar stools to hair metal and Huey Lewis and the News. It was an incredible night.

Sunday was a slow day, where I used most of my energy for a lovely bday party and spent the rest grazing. We ate some Pizza Metro, some apples at the farmers market, some Pasadita burrito. That night we saw Vicky Christina Barcelona at Piper's Alley, which I enjoyed very much. It was a fun date.

Monday was our Laborbecue. I made a peach pie and an apple crisp, and Ben made baked beans and a variety of meats and sides and corn salad. We had a good sized crowd, and Jason brought his banjo again and got some music playing, which recieved occasional applause from across the alley and lured a neighbor to visit and become friends. We have tons of leftover food.

I've been smelling some bad smells. Our alley smelled terrible with all the overflowing garbage cans from folks moving and the pickup day delayed for the holiday. Thank goodness they got picked up today. And when Ben and Emma and I were walking around the Gold Coast on Saturday, we noticed that the ENTIRE GOLD COAST SMELLS LIKE PEE. Ben thinks it's from all the small dogs and the total lack of grass. It's a good theory.

And in case you didn't know: WTF, St. Paul. Nightmare.