putt-putt-putt... sputtterrrrrr

I'm running out of gas. The past several days have been jam packed with activity and emotions. There are more details than I'd really like to go into, but here's the rundown:

Mom was in Chicago with her co-teachers for the National Early Childhood Convention. The hotel screwed up their reservation and they pitched a fit until they could offer them something reasonable. Which ended up being the "Astor Suite" on the 33rd floor. 2 bathrooms. A dining room. A bar. 3 doors to the room. Great views. Big fancy TV. Ridiculous bedroom. It was amazing. On Thursday night I came bearing gifts of wine and beer, and we ordered pizza and were silly. Super fun.

The next day my Grandpa had a stroke. I first got the news just before teaching a WW class, and at that point things were looking very serious. It was the hardest class I've taught. But afterwards we learned that the situation was not quite as dire. My mom, aunt Debbie and I all happened to be in Chicago, and they decided to stay through the convention before traveling to Milwaukee. I decided to join them and drove up with my mom on Saturday afternoon.

Friday afternoon I went to one workshop with Mom and Debbie at McCormick Place, which is nuts. Though it was was fun to go to the workshop. Mom stayed at my place that night. She met Adeline and fell right in love with her. Of course. We had dinner at Artopolis.

Saturday morning I played a birthday party while Mom baked banana bread with my old black bananas, and then we drove up to Milwaukee. It was great spending so much time with her; we had some deep conversations and I feel better about my place in our family now. Living in Chicago when the rest of my very close family is together in Milwaukee is not actually so easy, but I think now both of us have a better idea of how to relate to each other in this situation. I was very glad to be coming home to be with the family.

We ate banana bread with our family and then drove out to the hospital to see Grandpa. He seemed okay when we got there, just very tired and weak, with the left side of his face drooping. Lots of family members were there. The people in the next room complained about the noise. When the sun went down though, Grandpa started acting very strange and confused, demanding that we give him the bottle of pills he could see while there was actually no bottle of pills there. His confusion and nonsense made me very upset and I lost control of my tears. Nothing scares me more than losing control of the brain, and to see my super-smart, capable grandpa acting so absurd was terrible. Later we found out that he was spiking a fever due to a urinary infection, so that partly explained his hallucinations. But at the time it was very freaky. We ate dinner at the hospital with Betsy and the Konkols.

Bradley was in The Nerd at Tosa East that night, and since Grandpa couldn't go I was able to use his ticket. They had constructed a sort of black-box feel, with the set and entire audience right on the stage. Being on the stage at Tosa East again stirred up all kinds of different emotions. During the play I snuck out with Grandma to take her to the bathroom, because I knew where the backstage rooms were. It was so bizarre, helping my grandma with her bad knees and fuzzy perception up flights and flights of stairs, backstage in my old high school theater where I had been so often, so long ago. Bradley was great in the play, but unfortunately the main thing I left with was anger after the director came to greet me and Jesse, and talk to us about Bradley's performance and our past performances, and totally blew off Julia and Leslie. He likes to put on exciting, impressive shows that are popular in the community, but his focus on the theater's impression in the community overshadows his concern for his students' feelings and opportunities. His rudeness broke my heart, and I really felt for Julia amidst the trials and tribulations and bullshit of high school. She is brave and strong and hanging in there, and I give her so much credit.

Sunday I slept through church, and then we spent more time at the hospital. Grandpa was much better. Improving by leaps and bounds. His doctors, nurses and physical therapists were amazed by his progress. He was working on a crossword puzzle with us, making witty jokes, joining in conversation with his visitors. He even walked down the hall with a walker. We'll have to see how much he improves, but he was starting to be more like himself. There are going to be some changes in the way our family works. It is overwhelming. But we are very lucky to have so many family members who take care of each other.

I ate with Julia and then drove home to Chicago, just in time for the Songbook volume 4 CD release concert. We recorded a track for the album, but unfortunately our track will only be available as an "internet extra." This is an unfair bummer for lots of reasons, but mostly because nobody told us and we had to find out through the rumor mill. Lots of teachers' tracks got the boot in favor of more famous ringers. The part that frustrates me is that 9 out of 20 tracks that are on the hard copy of the CD are not even in the songbook. Still, check us out come November 20! We'll also be on iTunes. It's a good track. The concert was a ton of fun, after I finally drove all the way back from Milwaukee and changed into my dress and drove to the school and hopped up on stage to swing Oh Susannah for a good crowd, and then I had the most delicous PBR ever. The other performers were all really good, and I love variety-show type performances with lots of different kinds of people doing their thing. And then I went to O'Hare to pick up Ben from the airport. He was in New York all this time.

Bodies respond to stress in different ways. On Sunday night I chipped my front bottom tooth. Get it together, body. I'll not have this weakness.

I'm working tonight instead of tomorrow night; it's going to be Ben and my 8 year anniversary and we're going out for fancy times. Thank goodness I'll have the day off.