better!

I'm better! It's awesome. I believe I was healed by a magic free burrito from Chipotle. I've been feeling like myself since Wednesday.

Thursday night went to a goodbye party for some girls from the store at Heartland cafe with Ben. They are taking a road trip/moving to Olympia, and had requested mix CDs. I made a sweet one. I heart mixes. Then we went to T's bar for a recycling fundraiser that Andrea was heading up.

Friday I taught classes, Ben stayed home to get things done and ensure that his slight stomachache didn't become something worse. We had lunch at Milk & Honey. That afternoon I decided I wanted to go to Wauwatosa for a bit. Ben stayed in Chicago since his family was busy. I got home Friday night, had tacos and talk, saw Julia's pictures from London. Saturday slept in, did laundry, had Cranky Al's donuts, did crossword puzzle with Mom and Dad, ran some errands at the mall and got some new things with a giftcard I had, watched Rent with the family, ate pizza. It was just what I wanted. It was nice to be at home. It felt good to spend some time driving. From time to time, I have to cover some ground.

Got back to Chicago in time to see the Zincs at the Hideout. It was a fun show, a different kind of band than I'd ever seen live. I love the Hideout. Hung out with Julie B and Jason a little, got a bite at La Pasadita before heading home.

Worked today. After work Ben made awesome dinner: chicken and dumplings, garden salad, wine, espresso, chocolate hazelnut gelato. Then we took down our Christmas tree and cleaned and organized our downstairs a little bit. Ben finished the shelf he has been building for the past week or so, and our stereo stuff is no longer sitting atop American Apparel boxes from our move. It's on a beautiful, homemade, perfectly sized shelf with some movies, records, and books. It really helps to finish the living room. I am now obsessed with painting a couple of walls and getting frames for the rest of our posters to make our little house even nicer and even more our own.

Ben is very great! Also he is very cute.

I am rereading The Great Gatsby, which I found boring and pointless in high school, and which I now find full of precious gems of insight and delectable, savory bits of writing. It is like slowly eating a fancy chocolate bar. But it is also richly about humanity, about Americans, about trends and priorities. I am having fun with it and reading it like a special treat. I think I read it too fast in high school. Also, even though I thought I was very mature in high school, I was not grown up yet. It's very different reading it as a (still young) adult with (a teeny bit) more perspective on the world.

if my wishhh could come true, somehow

This is the weirdest sickness I've ever had. Every sickness I ever remember has involved boxes and boxes of kleenex, a sore throat, and a lot of mucus. It's usually all jammed up in my head. With this one, my head is pretty much fine, but my stomach feels volatile and rumbly, and my whole body feels weak and lame. Ben went in to work late today, and we walked over the Gallery Cafe for a nice crossword puzzle breakfast. I underestimated the difficulty of doing this. #1: It's very cold outside, which I didn't know having been holed up inside for a full day and a half. #2: I didn't know what to order. Thought I should stay away from coffee, was kind of hungry but scared of all the cheese and spicy things. Finally got orange-ginger-mint tea, scrambled eggs, and toast with jelly, which actually suited me very well. I was glad to get some vitamins into my system. #3: It was the most shameful crossword ever crossed. We just couldn't figure it out. It was the one in the Reader that we always do, challenging but fun. We always finish it, even if it takes some time, even if we need to ask the internet for just the last one or two empty boxes. But man, we sucked. We barely did half of it. Ben jokingly said, "I blame you. This is about how far I get when I try to do one by myself." I agreed. It was hard for me to even look at the page of words, let alone get my brain to start processing them into clever answers. He had to go to work, which made me snuggle his shoulder hard and tell him how much I was going to miss him. (What? Cripes. What a lameo.) I left for home. The walk home seemed brutal. All I could think about was this plaid down TV-watching blanket we have in the living room, and how much I wanted to be warmed up underneath it. I made it through the door, took off my coat, got under the blanket and slept for 1.5 hours.

In 45 minutes I have to go to work. Thank God that today's job does not involve 2-year-olds, because they'd run me right over. I'm just gonna chill out, the phones shouldn't be busy, read a little or watch movie trailers on the internet, listen to music live and recorded, and nap backstage if the need should arise.

I'm like the lame little sick kid, the runt of the litter. Maddeningly different from the strong, capable persona I am proud to embody most of the time. Just a little wimp. I'm a poor orphan from an Olde English novel. 'Ey love, give Lindsay that last crumb. She's a weak g'el. She needs 'er energey. You let 'er be now, so's she can get sum reyst. There now. Dream lit'le one, abou' a magic'oh day when you'll be strong enuf to ryde a bicyc'oh, up an' down the streets ov town.

whine

My worst:

Being sick

I hate it. Most of the weekend I was fine. I worked all day Saturday, had dinner at Feed with Ben, played some video games at Mike's house and then went to the Pub in Hyde Park where we split a few pitchers and played shuffleboard. Fun. Woke up feeling good yesterday, drove down to Hyde Park again to see the Macalester choir sing at the service at Rockefeller chapel. It was a weird service, very empty and cold inside that big church, though the sermon was allright. My standards are high I think because I rarely go to church anymore since I always work on Sundays. The choir sounded all right, and it was really nice to see all the seniors who were freshmen my last year at Mac. I knew about 10 people, surprisingly. Lots of kids stuck with it. Nice to see them again, get updates on majors and studying abroad and engagements. As I left I found myself feeling lonely and moody, and figured it was just a product of nostalgia. At home I made some hummus and ate it with spicy chips during the Bears game, and started to feel mopey about Ben's focus on football instead of me, which made me embarrassed and grumpy. Soon I began to get a stomach ache, and wondered if all of these bad feelings were due to sickness. Ben left to watch the Colts game at Mikes, and I stayed home and watched my temperature rise. Also watched two Julia Roberts movies. By the time Ben got home I was at 100.1 and emailing WW teachers to find a sub for the next day's classes.

Today I haven't felt terrible, just upset stomach and achey and overwhelmed. No fever. No desire to eat. It's almost 5 now; since the hummos and chips yesterday at 2 I have eaten a bowl of oatmeal, half bowl of soup, cup of tea, some stray pecan pieces and noodles, and wheat thins. This is how I'm sure that I'm sick. Slept till 11 and have already taken an hour and a half nap. Just not quite up to par. I was making a mix CD and had to stop because it was too strenuous.

Maybe Pretty Woman is on TV. Cross your fingers!

"Bacon?!"

A family of four was seated next to us. The little girl was probably 10, and her brother was about 5. The boy was very antsy and everyone else in his family was obviously already irritated with him.

"Pancakes!" he whined. "I want pancakes!"

"No, honey, we told you, they don't have pancakes here," said Mom. The four of them got their menus as the little boy continued to mumble about pancakes.

He flipped through the heavy menu and stared blankly at a page. Then suddenly, he looked up, desperately. "Bacon?? Do they have bacon here?!?!"

Finally big sister piped up. "This is a Cuban restaurant, not a breakfast restaurant! They don't have those kinds of things here!" The little boy sunk his forehead down onto the edge of the table, where it remained for about six minutes.

As Ben and I were not in the mood for pancakes, we greatly enjoyed our Cuban dinners at Cafe Bolero. I had a great chicken dish with potatoes, plantains, rice and beans in a mild, slightly tomatoey sauce, with the signature Havana martini. Ben had steak and onions with a mojito. I realized I had never tasted non-shitty rum. It's pretty good. We had a good meal and then went to see Babel. It was nice to have a little date, and exciting to go to a restaurant where we were going to spend more than six dollars each. Babel is a good movie, well done, interesting, but spirals out into a big depressing mess and then kind of ends. Still worth seeing though.

Before we ended up at Cafe Bolero we had tried to go to La Bonita Ixcapuzalco. It was a very big Mexican restaurant. When we drove up, we thought it was closed, because it was very dark inside and we couldn't see any diners, just an occasional person's shadow walking through the room. We went in anyway, to check it out. The hostess was there, wearing her winter coat with a big furry hood, and assured us that they were open, and that the lights were set at an intensional level of darkness. She lead us through the big, totally empty restaurant, and then sat us at a table directly next to the only other people there, who had also just come in. We heard their conversation about how they had just turned on the heat and it would be warming up soon. Ben shook his head at me and we walked out. It was very weird. The restaurant had moved from a previous, popular location into this bigger place, had changed ownership, and did not seem to be doing too well. I didn't feel bad about walking out, because we didn't want to eat in a totally empty, cold, dark restaurant. But I did feel bad that the restaurant is not going to succeed. We were there on Friday night at 7:00 and it was completely dead. It was beautiful inside, and looked like it should have been a great restaurant by the decor, place settings, art, etc. There were just no people inside. Or heat.

OR pancakes.

Gallery Cafe

I have found a new coffeeshop. All indicators of good coffeeshop present: free wifi, close to home, bold vintage decor, good music, tattooed yet friendly staff, clean, colorful and neat chalkboard menu, tasty sandwiches with creative names, couch, funky old coffee grinder in the front room. It's kind of dude-y though. Didn't notice that till I was here by myself. Ladies, have you ever had this experience of suddenly feeling very aware of your breasts? Like whoa, I'm the only one in the room with these wacky things. No? Okay, I'm just crazy.

It's winter again. That's comforting. Snow and everything. It's my favorite kind of day. Squinting a little in the sun, skin on my face feeling a little tight and very cold as I walk with my hands in my pockets. Seriously, it's been twice as many degrees as it is right now for about two months.

Okay coffeeshop, I was kind of digging this weird piano music you had going, but now it's a really bizarre piano and drums version of Iron Man. Is probably this. Check out the Iron Man sample. Very weird. Growing on me in an embarrassing way. It makes me feel like I'm sitting in the concert hall at Mac. And like Carltn Macy is down the row of seats, rocking out.

Seems like everyone has been traveling lately. Stories of Mexico, Thailand, Paris, Colorado. I can't wait for March.

This past week has been good. Things are good. Worked a lot, hit up Pub Quiz again with Aerin and Poppy, started taking some guitar classes at work, played in the big WW concert, made snickerdoodles using several new baking tools.

The WW concert was really fun. Betsy, Pat, Ryan and Maggie drove down from Milwaukee for the show, where I rocked some You Are My Sunshine and Peanut Butter and Jelly. Also did lots of harmonizing, face making, hand motions and hip shimmying. It was super fun to have my family there, and I was proud to show off my world. Betsy knew a lot about things already from reading them on this internet (Is that Emily Hrd? Is that who you interviewed with for WW? Is that the desk where you sit? Are those the earrings you made?) which was fun. They liked our apartment; our bed was jumped on, drums played, pears eaten, football watched. We went to John's Place for dinner. Everyone was pretty hilarious, especially the kids. "Daddy, can you read that word?" "Crayon-berry!" "It wasn't mine; I took somebody else's by mistake." We laughed a lot. What fun. Our fun was only slightly hindered by a messy incident just as they were getting ready to leave, in the form of a huge pile of dog poop conveniently left right in front of the door to their van. A few of us stepped in it, and it was everywhere, and totally rank. We gave them a garbage bag to enclose Maggie's boot and some of the car's soiled mats to hopefully keep their ride home a little more breathable. I hate those fucking trixies who are too rich to pick up their dog's poop and leave it everywhere to attract rats and ruin the shoes and carpets of innocent people. Seriously. It's really gross. Luckily Maggie saved the day with a hilarious joke and we all said goodnight.

I love visitors. Thanks to everybody who's made the trek recently. To everyone else: You are welcome any time!

Speaking of visitors, I got the pictures and recording from the night that my family came to see us perform at the zoo. They turned out great, and the live recording has already gotten us a gig booked for Valentine's weekend. Awesome! I am working on making a myspace page for myself, as I'm getting recordings together. It's screwed up right now but hopefully I'll get it running right soon. Check it out!

Lookit what I found!

You can listen to the song I recorded back in November. It was a political song about the upcoming election that I recorded for this student at the school. Although Cook County government is a little screwy, I felt weird about recording the song when the Republican candidate wanted to use it for propaganda. I wish there had been somebody else to vote for. In
any case, it was fun getting hired to do it and recording in a studio for the first time.

Here's the song!

8 out of 9!

8 out of 9 kids in my Monday 10am are returning students! How awesome! They like me! They really like me!

I better get some extra-fun new material. Seriously. Anybody know any kickass fingerplays?

Yippee! I can't wait to see them all again tomorrow!

And speaking of "I can't wait": Jana. You should totally get into law school in Chicago. It would be so awesome. Beers, bikes, harmony-- we'd be unstoppable.

Note: Jana is my karaoke-hosting, bike-riding, choir and Tap-After-Tape friend from Macalester. Janna on the other hand is my former roommate who now lives in Seattle and who came to Milwaukee for Easter. Jenna is a Chicago coworker and friend whose job at the OTS is to set me up with sweet gigs.

Like the birthday party I did yesterday morning. I do a ton of these things. They're fun! And pay a pretty penny. I am a gigging musician. In the past 8 months, gigs have been almost 14% of my income. For serious!

I had the party yesterday morning and then last night I worked my other job, sitting for Finn. It was a late and I didn't get home until 2:30; had to be at work this morning at 9. I've been sitting for Finn a whole lot lately, and I feel like the two of us have come to a really great point of mutual understanding. Maybe that sounds silly to say about a five year old, but we're connecting and having fun and it's really nice. I've been picking him up from school some days; his dad bought a booster seat for our car. On Friday the two of us took the bus down to Navy Pier and we walked around the "Winter Wonderfest" and saw the sights. I always try to take him out somewhere fun. Public transportation is one of his favorite things (no joke) and it's fun to find neat places to go together. And usually I just come up with the place, and he'll have the route all figured out. Eg: "Hey Finn, there's this free kids thing at Navy Pier." "Oh! We could take the Chicago bus to Navy Pier! And then on the way back we can take the Grand bus to the Red Line and then transfer to the Brown Line to get to my mom's apartment!"

Finn's favorite things:

1. El Train/Metra Train/Amtrak train/toy train
2. Real cars/toy cars
3. Asking about time/Checking the time/Telling you what time it is/Figuring out how many minutes until ______ happens
4. Running errands
5. "Coffee and a cookie" at Starbucks. ("We could go to the Starbucks on Addison! Or there's another Starbucks on Ashland that we could go to if we are taking Ashland!") The grownup gets the coffee, Finn gets the milk chocolate covered grahams. He ceremoniously unfolds a napkin, breaks the cookies into 8 squares, arranges them on the napkin, and eats one piece at a time.
6. Holding doors open for people
7. Elevators/escalators
8. Pooping cow keychain/talking about poop
9. Toy sets with tracks: Marble maze, Brio trains, Matchbox cars
10. Listening to music (and changing the song immediately if I start to sing along)
11. Putting his hands over his ears in anticipation of hearing any loud noise (walking under train tracks, standing on train platform, walking down hallway to apartment-- once an alarm went off there)
12. Making REALLY silly faces and taking cell phone pictures of them

Finn is a sweet boy.

I am nursing my sleepiness with a big ol' coffee from Starbucks. I've been spending a lot of time in Starbuckses, thanks to a couple of giftcards and coffeeandacookie outings. I'm torn about Starbucks. It creeps me out a little bit. Everyone talking in weird code language: "venti half-cap soy no foam skim lattechino"-- people really say those things! It sounds like a Saturday Night Live sketch of itself! I always just order a "large coffee," and the barista usually hands it back to me saying, "Here is your VENTI coffee." I don't want to be a jerk about it, and in other cases I'm irritated when people refuse to use correct terminology. This usually refers to a class title (most folks will call it "that workshop on Saturday" instead of saying "I want to sign up for Lead Guitar for Compete Idiots"), or a word in a foreign language. But Starbucks just made up a weird secret code and I feel like I'm giving myself over to their tyrannical empire if I start to use their language. I will always be a supporter of independent coffee shops, but I can feel the Bucks worming its way into my favor as I drink my way through these giftcards. They have a really yummy multigrain bagel, and also a tasty 5-fruit muffin. I am embarrassed to like the CDs they have on sale there. The Decemberists CD at the top of my Christmas list is on the rack at Starbucks now. The people there are always really nice too. Probably because they aren't worrying about having insurance.

The axe fell yesterday when I went to renew my prescription at Walgreens. "Do you have your new insurance card?" the pharmacist asked me, and my heart dropped into my stomach. No, I don't have a new insurance card. "It looks like something in your policy has changed since the first of the year." Not a surprise, because I wasn't really entitled to it anyway. So it looks like as of now, I am officially uninsured. I can't get covered at work. Even though I work full time for and get one paycheck from one company, I have multiple jobs there and thus do not count as a full time employee. I'm going to try to explore loopholes or ask if anyone is willing to create one for me, but last time I tried the HR guy told me I was out of luck. Though I do have dental insurance! Thank God I won't have to worry about my winning smile if I get run over by a car.

Julie, who quite suddenly had to have her appendix out this year, says I should marry Ben to get on his insurance. A tempting proposition except that we're trying to get Ben OUT of his current job and I don't want to be another reason he's stuck there.

I've been riding along on my parents' health insurance plan for a while. Officially, I could still be covered until some point in my 20s as long as they provide 50% of my income (ahem). Unofficially, nobody's ever asked, my name has stayed on the plan, and while I didn't feel I was allowed into the doctor's office, I've only had to pay $5 for prescriptions. I went to the doctor once or twice in Milwaukee since college, kind of pretending I lived there. We didn't want to arouse any suspicion, so I never went anywhere in Chicago. Still, I sort of had insurance in case of an emergency. On the other hand, it was weird fake-insurance where they probably weren't going to check it out unless there was some expensive emergency or something, which is of course when I would need the insurance, and they would probably not cover me.

Well in any case, my time of hazy insurance coverage is totally over. I feel vulnerable.

Damn!

And now I have a case of heart-in-the-stomach that I can't even get checked out.

Miscellaneous: I have seen many movies lately. They all get thumbs ups.

Pan's Labyrinth: gorgeous, excellent, heart-wrenching, intense. Do not see this movie on Sad Tuesday, but see it.
Coal Miner's Daughter: super good! Have your local video store's number on speed dial in case you are in the middle of the movie and your Netflix DVD scratches out on you five minutes before they close.
Me and You and Everyone We Know: Real quirky. Liked it a whole lot.
Sarah Silverman- Jesus is Magic: I appreciated it but fell asleep in parts.

Ooh.. falling asleep..... Mmmm..... venti.

Dear Diary: Last night, the Iowa category was so hard!

A minor life improvement has been made. Last night we found a Thursday night Pub Quiz.

Ben and I had made plans to go ice skating with Julie and Jason, but we didn't much feel like skating in the pouring rain. (Winter? I'm starting to realize it was one of those things you only believe in when you're a little kid. Now that I'm grown up, those magical snow-covered mornings have drifted back into the realm of the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Winter in the 2000's is balmy, wet, and disgusting.) We were looking for something new to do and stumbled upon trivia night at Ginger's Ale House. I was super excited after many tales of trivia nights in Minnesota and my excellent trivia night experience in Seattle. I did a bit of arm twisting, and was thanked in the end for doing so, because we had a really unique night and a great time. It's a big, no-frills Irish pub, popular during soccer season. I called the bar twice before we left and spoke to two different people with Irish accents. ("Well o'course yu'd want to be ther hat sevun thairty if yahr plannin' ta compeet!") The pub quiz wasn't packed, and we were the youngest people there. The team of the oldest people there included an old-timey harmonica instructor from the school. We ate dinner there too. I had a pot pie with a big flaky crust, Ben and Jason ordered the special "Bacon and Cabbage" which was Irish bacon (ham) with cabbage and some delicious carrot stuff and mashed potatoes, and Julie got the Irish breakfast, blood sausage and all. We drank Dead Guy Ales for $3.50 a pint and our team, the Stable Table, came in a solid 5th place. We're all very excited to go back.

Work has been really busy. A lot of people have made the new year's resolution to learn a new instrument and see more concerts, because even though we've had twice the number of regular desk staffers we have been on the phones non-stop, 9-5, with people constantly waiting on hold. It's starting to slow up a little bit, which is good because we're getting fried. There is a lot you need to know to work that job, and I feel like my brain has been depleted from plucking bits of information from all areas. Teacher personalities, styles of music, particularities of different instruments, abilities of different aged kids, schedules, policies, web orders, staff needs, regulations, prerequisites, prices, discounts, details, details, details. It was great to exercise a non-job oriented part of my brain last night and give my OTS knowledge a rest! I'm getting excited for my worms classes again though, trying to plan out some new songs and fun stuff. No more driving to the suburbs to teach classes this semester! I'll only have one day off but I think it's a sweet tradeoff. I'll actually have two days off: Saturday and Montues, which is a day that begins at noon on Monday and lasts until 3:30 on Tuesday. I'll also be playing in the upcoming WW concert; should be a good time.

I never told you about New Years. Ben and I had a fun night, dressed up in our fancies and biking around the city. We went to a lofty theatery party at the new Spareroom, and then biked over to Margaret's place just in time for midnight. She's the TV critic and editor of Time Out Chicago's TV and radio section. We were all ready for midnight, champagne freshly poured, watching the crowds in downtown Chicago on TV and ready for the countdown, when suddenly: blip! blip! blip! The TV started changing channels, and all we could see was



We rang in the new year to the dramatic BAM BAMP! chords of Law and Order, and by the time we found the remote and got back to the countdown channel, they had already done it and were halfway through the fireworks. Thanks Tivo!! Happy 2007! We laughed, drank our champagne, and then drank a lot more beer over the course of several rounds of flip cup.

I highly recommend beginning your year on a bike with your strapless red dress tied up around your side, cutoff pants underneath, shouting Happy New Year a la "Hello you old building and loan!" to anyone you see.

Lately I have realized: Living in the city is awesome. I totally love it.

on stuff

Rereading some of these posts, I have noticed that I have been emphasizing Stuff a lot lately. Meaning that with the holiday gifting and getting and losing and replacing I think I have been overly focused on material things. This concerns me. On the other hand, I feel that the reason I'm focused on them is that I hardly ever have new things, and I am genuinely delighted to have some nice new stuff. Also I really like to make lists, and to be complete about things I don't want to forget. In the reviewing of my Christmastime I didn't want to leave them out. I don't want to be a braggart or a materialist though, so I'm sorry if it came across that way.

In any case I should try to focus on more important things, like finding songs besides Son of a Preacher Man to sing at karaoke bars. It's embarrassing because while I felt rock-solid crooning those 40's tunes in front of a band at the zoo, I always feel like I can't find anything good in the karaoke lists. There are too many songs I don't know at all, or not well enough, or I can't remember the bridge, or what if it's not in my range, or what if I don't sound as awesome on THIS song as I could sound on another song.... I suppose that's just pride. I gotta give a lot of credit to the folks who can't carry the tune as strongly and don't even think about range or verses or anything, who just know they like to sing along to that one part of the chorus, so they get up on stage and do it. Good job, that guy. You're on stage having fun while I'm trying to plug one ear thinking, "How the hell does the middle part of One Way Or Another go??"

2007!

Resolutions:

1. More frequent blog posts
2. More creative blog posts
3. Being early more often than being late or exactly on time

This post hereby satisfies resolution #1. Sorry resolutions #2 and #3, we've been insane at work and my creativity and time have been taken hostage.